Exploring Yama 5: Aparigraha
Content note: This piece includes gentle reflections on burnout, comparison, emotional overwhelm, and personal experiences with change and self‑acceptance.
Read time: 8 minutes
Aparigraha teaches us to focus on what we are doing in the moment, on the journey to achieve the outcome, rather than the outcome itself. In the Bhagavad Gita, a central text for yogic practice, Krishna said “Let your concern be with action alone, and never with fruits of action. Do not let the results of action be your motive, and do not be attached to unaction.”
Aparigraha means non-possessiveness, letting go. Non-striving and letting go are also two similar mindfulness principles that I teach about on the Mindfulness Now course, so there is a lot of cross over and it shows the importance of Aparigraha. It allows us the freedom to do what we love through our passion for it, rather than worrying about the outcome of our project. It teaches us to step away from the reliance of other people’s approval for our happiness. We only take what we need, and release our hold on possessions, outcomes, and relationships.
This has been a massive lesson for me to learn. Before I took time out from working, I would often put a lot of effort into creating social media posts, for my dog training page, yet I would not get much interaction. I would have fantastic training sessions, connection with clients, feedback, in person yet my social media felt dead. I compared myself to other local dog trainers and behaviourists and the support that they got on social media. I saw their friends and family sharing posts, not just clients, yet most of mine were ignored. Even when I reached out and asked friends and family to help by liking and sharing my page they often didn’t. I felt deflated, I started to tell myself that it must be because what I did was rubbish, I questioned my ability, I gave up trying. I felt that I was putting so much effort in but getting nothing back from doing it. I was burnt out and I was feeling RSD from all angles.
What has changed now? Everything. I am writing my blogs because I want to, it doesn’t even matter if they aren’t read. I feel good for achieving something just by writing them. I know that they won’t be for everyone, and that is OK. I have let go of expectations or needing external validation. Yoga, mindfulness, Druidry, and just feeling safe and grounded in life has given me the ability to practice Aparigraha as my new normal… and it feels good. It is freeing. As I sit and read my notes for this topic, I have 5 pages, rather than the two pages that I made for the other Yama’s. That is a reflection of how large a topic this is, and how passionate that I feel about it. I will try and condense it down though!
Wooden Scrabble tiles on a white background, which spell out ‘let it go’ in capital letters. The Scrabble points for each letter are also displayed.
Aparigraha in Daily Life
How can we apply Aparigraha in our daily life? Well, I am currently thinking about food. I often am to be fair, I like food! However, my range of meals that I eat is limited. I can find myself hesitant to try our new recipes for fear of how they may turn out. If you are someone who cooks for other people then you might find that this feeling is amplified.
Perhaps you are trying to arrange a birthday party, a day out, a holiday, or start a project? Do you find that your focus is on each step as you are working on it, or are you worrying about how things will turn out? Is this perhaps stopping you from even beginning? Thinking about this from an ADHD and task paralysis perspective; are you feeling overwhelmed by the size of the task and the steps involved, or are you able to focus on achieving just the one step at a time?
Then there is hoarding and purchasing more than we need…. please don’t look at my Run and Fly and Jambats collection as I write this!!! Yes, I do have far too many clothes than I need but they are sooo pretty! With Aparigraha the teaching is not to worry about loosing our possessions, being weighed down by them physically or energetically. I can understand this as I really struggle to work within a cluttered environment, or anything which might be distracting. It feels heavy energetically to me.
With our food, are you eating more than you need or do you know when you have had enough? The Japanese have a saying of only eating until you are 80% full and societies with this same approach tend to be the healthiest across the globe. I tend to struggle if I have too much food in my fridge, it makes me feel overwhelmed and food can go to waste. Is this something that you find too? Are you overbuying and wasting food? Smart shopping and meal prep can help with this, or just donating to shelters what you don’t need.
Imbolc is the time of year to think about having a spring clean, perhaps this is a good time to look through your wardrobe or home and consider if there are items that you no longer need, that are just taking up space? Perhaps it is a time to review your spending and to see if you are buying new items in the belief that they will bring happiness rather than through necessity?
Aparigraha in the Yoga and Mindfulness Class
Within the yoga or the mindfulness setting, we can often enter with a set idea of what we want to achieve, what we feel that we should be achieving. This is especially try when first starting out. You might find that you are pushing yourself to achieve a certain asana, to get deeper into it, comparing yourself to others in the class? Perhaps you are trying to practice mindfulness yet battling against thoughts that come into your mind, rather than allowing, observing, and then releasing them?
Aparigraha offers us the freedom to practice for the love of if, rather than to achieve a goal. It encourages us to be satisfied with our practice within that moment, rather than constantly wanting and striving for more.
Aparigraha in Mental Wellbeing
When applied to mental health and wellbeing, Aparigraha encourages us to release negative thoughts, emotions, and memories to avoid spiralling into destructive patterns and habits. It invites us to practice gratitude and forgiveness, releasing painful memories to free ourselves from hurt that has been caused. The focus is on self-care without guilt and just letting others be. When we obsess over what could be, or what has been, it can be difficult to enjoy what is. We can find ourselves unable to fully experience an activity or event as it is, at that moment, if we are clinging to an outcome.
As Druidry also teaches us, everything within life is in a constant state of flux. The only thing that we can be sure of in life is that there will be change, constant change. Well, that and taxes as the saying goes! Now, my autistic brain says “I don’t like change, I like a plan with lots of notice for change. Change is bad.” However, thanks to yoga and Druidry, I can now be more relaxed about change. I know that change can sometimes be beautiful, yet sometimes it can be sad. Without the less enjoyable times though we cannot fully experience life and the lessons that it holds. We learn from both light and dark. In fact, most of my growth has been through journeying through the darker times in life.
Each day we see the cycles of life, as we see the first light of dawn, the plants and animals awakening, the strength of the midday sun, through to the sun setting, the plants and animals returning to their slumber, and the cycle beginning again the next day. Every month we witness the moon waxing and waning in all of her beauty. Every year we witness the lessons of the land, the hope that is given to us at Imbolc as the snowdrops push up through the hard ground, the rebirth beginning, to the time of Autumn when the leaves begin to let go of their leaves that no longer serve them. That is not the end of the cycle though, for the trees know that when they let go of their leaves they go on to benefit others. The leaves turn into mulch and get used to nourish the next cycle of life.
Allowing things to happen as they are, to feel emotions that are light and dark, and knowing that they will pass, allows us to grow, heal, and blossom. It allows us freedom.
Remembering to Breathe
The healing benefits of breathwork will be another blog in itself, however, Aparigraha is also important when it comes to remembering to breathe. When we are feeling stressed or tense we automatically hold our breath, resulting in further anxiety. I always laugh about learning to ring something new when I am ringing church bells. I am that focused on trying to get it right and not mess it up for someone else, that I forget to breathe and then wonder why I feel dizzy!
It is something that I have also seen within yoga practice, dog training, and all areas of life to be honest. When working with animals, as soon as we let out a deep breath and relax ourselves, the animals often mirror this and become less tense. As we release our breath, allowing it to flow from deep within us, we shift our energy and allow ourselves to relax.
Perhaps a good visual to give you is to think of a hosepipe with the water (energy/breath) flowing through it. If we cut off the flow by holding and applying pressure to the hosepipe, the water (energy/breath) cannot flow and pressure builds up. When we release the pressure and let go then the water (energy) breath can flow freely and with ease once more. In yoga practice, if we want to get further into a position a good way to help our bodies to do this, and to relax into the asana, is to slightly come out of the position as we take an in breath, which then allows us to sink further into the position as we allow ourselves to exhale.
