Exploring Yama 3: Asteya

Content note: Mentions of masking, burnout, feelings of inadequacy, and reflections on late autism/ADHD diagnosis.

Read time: 5 minutes

Asteya (Responsibility, Non-Stealing)

The third Yama of Yogic philosophy is Asteya, which means non-stealing. We may feel that we do not steal, when we think about stealing in the physical sense, however, it is much deeper than the physical. We can steal from ourselves in many ways, including not allowing ourselves to experience life as it really is.

For those of us who were late getting our autistic or ADHD, we have probably all experienced that we aren’t ‘enough’ in some way, or that we don’t have ‘enough,’ or that something is missing. It is this feeling of ‘lack’ that can lead us to ‘steal’. We may, in fact, feel as though we have had something stolen from us; wondering how different life would have been if we had of know that we are autistic and/or ADHD earlier on in our lives.

Perhaps you can identify with feeling like you have a lack of time, always rushing around, feeling overwhelmed, and trying to cram as much into your day as possible? Perhaps this is about gaining approval and praise from others? Perhaps it is about getting the dopamine from ticking off another task on the ‘to-do’ list? However, ‘doing’ is not the same as ‘being’ and ticking things off a list is not the same as deeply experiencing an activity. Are you addicted to ‘doing’? Are you robbing yourself of truly experiencing life?

Continuing with the theme of time; consider the last time that you attended a class, meeting, or other group activity. Were you rushing to get there, or were you relaxed? Did you allow yourself plenty of time? Were you early or late? Has rushing become a habit? Were you ‘stealing’ the opportunity to fully experience the class or activity, were you ‘present’ in mind as well as body?

Now this one is difficult for those of us with time perception challenges. I have several friends who are always late or running last minute. I am usually the opposite, yet my focus will be on getting to that appointment on time and this begins several hours in advance, stopping myself from focusing on other tasks. Both extremes can be challenging to live with and cause anxiety.

We can also steal from other people when we are running late, an example is within the yoga class environment. Some yoga classes have a set rule of arriving 10 minutes before the class starts, and the doors are ‘locked’ at the start of the class. There are others that are much more relaxed. It is important to select the type of class that is right for you, perhaps checking with the yoga teacher when booking. This is true not only from a time perspective but also when considering other sensory needs, if the class is with music, allows talking, or uses scents.

Twelve yoga students sitting on mats, in a yoga studio, facing the yoga teacher who is stood at the front of the class. The floor is wooden, there are cream drapes on the ceiling, and Moroccan style lamps.

My personal experience and feeling, as a yoga student, was that it is disrespectful to arrive late at a class, especially once the other students are quietly focusing on their breath. To enter a sacred space, with mats, bags, being out of breath and stressed from rushing, steals peace from other students, and from the teacher. There have been several times, in the past, when I arrived even 2 minutes late and didn’t enter the studio once I saw that the class had begun. However, if the class has been advertised as it being OK to enter if running late, then I would have felt differently and entered.

We often also camouflage or conceal parts of ourselves, masking parts of ourselves which we feel differ to how society wants us to be. Although there can be some benefits to being able to mask within society, it is exhausting, it causes burn out, and it denies or steals our true selves from us and from others. It doesn’t allow us to be known, understood, and loved as our authentic and beautiful selves, and form deep, strong, and meaningful relationships. It can steal our happiness and our inner peace.

The root cause of not practicing Asteya is often “I’m not good enough.” We lack faith in ourselves, we compare ourselves to others, feeling that everyone else has what we want. We can feel empty, insecure, always wanting more. Swami Sivananda said, “Desire or want is the cause for stealing” and Gandhi said, “mankind’s greed and craving for artificial needs is also stealing.”

This can manifest in trying to fill that gap with material goods, buying more than we need, which not only robs others from being able to buy the items that they need, but also it robs ourselves of the freedom that we could have been able to create by investing our finances more wisely. I can say that it has been the times when I have felt these types of feelings that I have impulsively spent the most, getting a dopamine hit from buying material goods… or chocolate!

Does any of this resonate with you? Do you feel that you are stealing from yourself?